Movie Blog: The Coolest Movie Villains Of All Time

A villain. Most movies have one in some form or other, be it an evil stepmother, a wicked witch, a nameless murderer or that mean guy who wants to catch the dog in most family films. Needless to say that over the years we’ve seen villains come and go, some stick around, others don’t.

Most villains are rather forgettable and disposable, serving only as a means to an end – basically giving the hero of the story somebody to yell ‘no’ at.

Other times villains become something more, something larger than intended and become such an integral part of the story that sometimes they even outshine the overall story or film they appear in. This has happened numerous times over the decades – the villain becomes more memorable than the film – you forget the film but you remember the villain quite well for very specific reasons.

What does this say? Well, it simply says that some villains are fricken awesome and I’ve compiled a list of our absolute favorite movie villains in no particular order, enjoy!


Note: I’ve excluded The Joker from this list – because, reasons.


Thomas Reddmann – Redd Inc.

Why we like him: Thomas Reddmann was framed in the worst way and then experimented on after innocently convicted. All he wants in this world is to find the person actually responsible for the murders he was accused of and he’ll accomplish this by any means necessary.

Coolest moment: When Redd faces the true killer in one on one combat to the death.


Patrick Bateman – American Psycho

Why we like him: Patricks got issues and he’s an egomaniac with more than a few mental disorders that probably date back to his mother beating him with a stick or something. He’s very likable and weird in that mysterious way that makes your skin crawl. He also makes his own porn.

Coolest moment: Murdering a dude with an axe over business cards.

 


Dr.Evil – Austin Powers

Why we like him: Dr.Evil is the head of a global evil corporation and has sharks with fricken laser beams attached to their heads. What’s not to like? He’s the long lost brother of Austin Powers and he’s just really misunderstood. All those times he accidentally had people burnt to death was just innocent fun.

Coolest moment: Performing a rap music video while escaping from prison.

 


Dr. Hannibal Lecter – The Silence Of The Lambs

Why we like him: Hannibal had a tough childhood, okay? He had to eat his sister and then kill everyone who knew about it. Then he grew older and ate some other people while giving FBI agents really good advice on the correct wines to have alongside red meat.

Coolest moment: Escaping from prison and not eating Clarice.


Roy Batty – Blade Runner

Why we like him: Roy is one of those Replicants you heard so much about lately and all he wants to do is live a little longer. He’s a little pissed off over the stuff humans make his kind do and doesn’t like the idea of dying too much. Roy has a thing for freezing elderly Asians and has the special skill of improvised poetry when it rains.

Coolest moment: Chasing down Harrison Ford in his underwear.


Col. Hans Landa – Inglorious Basterds

Why we like him: Hans is funny, a lot more intelligent than he looks and charming in that weird German way. He can smell Jewish people, sense them and use The Force to locate them under floor boards, behind walls or in secret rooms….and we like his coat.

Coolest moment: Drinking milk.


The Sheriff Of Nottingham – Robin Hood: Prince Of Thieves

Why we like him: He’s the only person on the planet to threaten the hero of the story with a spoon and if things just went a little differently he might have been the new king of England. If he had more of a sense of timing he could have killed Robin Hood while he was pooping or something instead of in one on one combat.

Coolest moment: Stabbing his stupid cousin to death for being a moron.


Prototype Series 1000 Terminator – Terminator 2: Judgement Day

Why we like him: The T-1000 can morph into anything of equal size and volume, manifest numerous stabbing, slicey sort of weapons and has a thing for walking into bars. The only way to kill him is melting his ass in hot metal. By the way – Have you girls seen John Connor?

Coolest moment: Stabbing a noisy guy through the mouth while he drinks milk.


Count Adhemar – A Knights Tale

Why we like him: He has cool armor, he’s good at jousting and he wants to kill a pretentious peasant knight. Adhemar is ruthless and has a funny eye that I’m pretty sure may fall out if he gets too angry. He’s possibly the product of medieval incest or got in the head really hard as a baby.

Coolest moment: Failing to defeat the pretentious peasant knight even while he was almost irreparably injured.


Jason Voorhees – Friday The 13th 

Why we like him: Jason was just a kid trying to have some fun at summer camp before some other asshole kids drowned his ass. He kills people who probably have it coming and he fought Freddy Krueger that one time. Sometime’s he climbs out of the lake around 13 June so if you just don’t go to the lake that day you should be okay.

Coolest moment: Killing people you probably want to kill too.


Captain Hook – Hook

Why we like him: He’s the best portrayal of Captain Hook on the silver screen to date and he’s Dustin Hoffman. He doesn’t like lying because the truth is far too much fun and he hates Peter Pan. You know, regular Captain stuff. He’ll leave daggers with notes all over your house and kidnap your kids too which saves you from having to pay the babysitter.

Coolest moment: Stabbing an Asian kid to death.

 


Dracula – Van Helsing

Why we like him: All Dracula wants is a few babies and everyone has to get all uppity about it. He has the coolest hairstyle that no one on the planet can seem to duplicate and got stuck as the best Dracula in one of the worst movies ever made in Hollywood.

Coolest moment: Too many to mention. Probably when he caused an explosion by raising his voice a little.

 


Commodus – Gladiator

Why we like him: This dude has more issues than anyone on the list. He’s into killing old men, power tripping, fights to the death and we’re pretty sure he has a thing for his sister and her son too. Commodus is an example of what happens when someone gets promoted to manager without any managerial skills.

Coolest moment: Dying.

 


Biff Tannen – Back To The Future

Why we like him: He’s the same guy in different time periods with such strong genetics that every kid in his family come out exactly like him. Apparently, asshole genes go that way. Biff likes knock, knock jokes and hates Marty McFly – I mean, who doesn’t?

Coolest moment: Chasing down Michael J. Fox with a gun in a bathrobe.

 


Renfield – Dracula Dead & Loving It

Why we like him: Ironically Renfield wasn’t the main villain of the story but he certainly was the most dedicated. He has a thing for insects, doesn’t mind garlic and is oddly positive for someone being used as a mind controlled peon. He also doesn’t fly – even if you do.

Coolest moment: Watching Lucy possibly masturbating under the bed covers and seeing everything.

 


The Deacon – Waterworld

Why we like him: The Deacon just wants to know why you aren’t rowing and has catchy political catch phrases like ‘growth is progress’. He even drives around in an old car throwing free cigarettes at people and what did he get in return? Some asshole guy on a boat blew up his floaty balloon and he lost his eye. The nerve of some people.

Coolest moment: Discussing cutting open a guys head and eating his brain.

 


The Jackal – The Jackal

Why we like him: He’s the world’s best and most expensive assassin and he could probably kick Hitman’s ass. The Jackal was so cool that they named the entire movie after him. This guy was unstoppable and him losing at the end of the movie was bullshit.

Coolest moment: He shot Jack Black.

 


The Morris
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The Morris

Annoying Guy at www.desolationmorris.com
You know, this was supposed to be my day off. But nooooooo. Instead, you got me out here dragging your heavy ass through the burning desert, with your dreadlocks sticking out the back of my parachute. And you gotta come down here with an attitude, acting all big and bad.
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