Movie Blog: Alicia Silverstone Should Shut Up About Wonder Woman

In case you missed it, earlier this month Alicia Silverstone was asked about Wonder Woman during an interview and had some rather amusing commentary about the films success and its female lead. She notably stated that she didn’t really see the big deal because there have been many films with female driven leads over the years, which included her own smash hit film from the prehistoric age (1995), Clueless.

Yeah, Clueless was totally comparable to Wonder Woman, I mean, it’s exactly the same genre, right? We can totally compare them play by play as if they’re the same movie.

Let’s see what she said exactly though;

Before Wonder Woman… there have been many movies with female leads. So I get a little confused… I think about, ‘But what about all those wonderful comedians who are females who have had massive hits, Bridesmaids, there’s a movie out right now that’s tons of girls (Rough Night), and I’m sure it’s killing it, right? I don’t know. I just feel like, over the years, there was Mean Girls, there was Clueless, over time we have had so many movies that have been female-driven. I feel as an audience member there are tons of female, interesting things for me to follow and to be in. I do think the audiences will go where they see something – it’s difficult. It has to be Wonder Woman, it has to have tons of flash, right? As a mom, I don’t want my kid to see all that loud effects, all the stuff that is like ‘stimulate, stimulate’. But that’s what audiences want.

Okay, first of all, you cannot fucking compare Clueless, Bridesmaids or Mean Girls to Wonder Woman, second of all – Wonder Woman is not a rom-com piece of crap with some ditsy, half-assed misrepresentation of women in the lead and it’s as successful as it is because not only is it the highest grossing film by a female director (ever), it’s one of the highest earning films in the history of the entire industry. Not even to mention that it’s the first, beyond a doubt success of a female superhero over the disasters that were Elektra and Catwoman.

I get that Alicia Silverstone has been in a whole bunch of movies and a whole lot of series (some of which never got past the pilot) and that in her mind she’s not only a good actress but a very accomplished one – but damn, girl. Hating on Gal Gadot and her relatively early career success is a little below the belt, especially when you yourself were most notably the worst fucking Batgirl ever to grace our screens and have the acting talents of a baked potato.

That’s not even to give a thought to the fact that the piece of crap Joel Schumacher Batman & Robin she was in was exactly the thing she’s accusing Wonder Woman of – loud effects, bright colors, action, stimulation – things she wouldn’t want her kid to see.

Will her kid not see her as Batgirl then? Will her kid just watch reruns of Lassie and Pee Wee Herman movies or something? I mean, what fucking planet do you live on?

What exactly would we consider acceptable viewing material if a film with a strong, independent lead female saving the world is considered unfit viewing material?

By the way – the kid, her kid, who she’s so very concerned over is so unfortunately named that he’s literally starting his life with a disadvantage without having to be exposed to the unacceptable, flashy horror that is Wonder Woman…

Bear Blu Jarecki. Yes, her kid is named Bear Blu. Alicia Silverstone thought naming a kid Bear Blu would be an awesome idea. That should give you a little insight into the brilliance of the mind at work here – She named the kid that with no consideration that he would have to eventually grow up and introduce himself as Mr. Bear Blu Jarecki.

That name quite frankly sounds like a guest character on an episode of Barney The Dinosaur. That poor little guy is going to have to answer questions in school along the lines of why he isn’t a green bear instead of a blue one – and just wait till his friends find out his mom was Batgirl – whew…

Then, as if to further add insult to injury, Alicia Silverstone has said she would be open to being Batgirl again…

Wait, what?

Yes, you read that right. Alicia Silverstone wouldn’t mind taking up the role of Batgirl again…you know – as long as the Batgirl movie doesn’t have any action sequences, a good story or any real effort put into it that might make it look like an actual acting job.

We can call it Batgirl: The Retirement Years and it can feature The Golden Girls all brought back to life in shining 3D with the magic of CGI alongside Silverstone Batgirl. They can go about the adventurous task of choosing the correct color for the kitchen wallpaper while feeding Bear Blu vegan cookies.

I know, right? Awesome. We definitely got a winner to knock Wonder Woman from the top of the ivory tower there.

Alicia Silverstone should shut up and stick to writing cook books and being in her upcoming sitcom (American Woman) because she doesn’t seem to have even a hint of what the hell is going on in Hollywood right now. Believe it or not – but being in the half baked recast version of the most recent Diary Of A Wimpy Kid sequel as the mom isn’t exactly the stuff legends are made of over here.

This is, unfortunately, the sort of sour grapes situation Gal Gadot will have to get used to going forward from fellow actresses…

Grand Moff Morris
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Grand Moff Morris

You know, this was supposed to be my day off. But nooooooo. Instead, you got me out here dragging your heavy ass through the burning desert, with your dreadlocks sticking out the back of my parachute.
Grand Moff Morris
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