Pseudo News: Quentin Tarantino To Release 9 Hour Bonus Footage For The Hateful Eight

We sent one of our reporters to go through Quentin Tarantino’s trash this morning and managed to speak a few words with the man himself right before being escorted into a police vehicle.

Our reporter asked Mr. Tarantino about any upcoming projects while receiving a near fatal beating and got got a sneak peek at what the legendary director might have in store for the future. It is of course a well known fact that Mr. Tarantino likes to keep all his projects close to the chest and monitors all information relating to his upcoming films by hiding them inside the pants pockets of his wax statue of Leonardo DiCaprio.

Mr. Tarantino told our reporter that he plans to release a further 9 hours of footage for The Hateful Eight which will be available early next year.

Sadly, most of this footage was cut from the final release of the film due to runtime concerns by the studio. It was initially feared (by some) that if the film was not cut to 3 hours from its originally planned 12 hour runtime that elderly viewers might expire during the viewing of the film on opening weekend.

The new footage will feature 3 hours of Samuel L. Jackson sleeping and another stage coach scene that has been extended a further 2 hours to focus more on lengthy conversation, personal problems, sexism and dental hygiene of the era. Mr. Tarantino also says that at least 4 hours of footage being included in the special release will feature himself walking around with a GoPro and recording various events taking place in his day to day life that have nothing to do with the film itself but does (again) feature Samuel L. Jackson making a sandwich.



Grand Moff Morris
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Grand Moff Morris

You know, this was supposed to be my day off. But nooooooo. Instead, you got me out here dragging your heavy ass through the burning desert, with your dreadlocks sticking out the back of my parachute.
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