Pseudo News: The Sheriff of Nottingham Lobbies for Religious Equality

The Sheriff of Nottingham has gone on record with a new movement that aims to bring the magic of Witchcraft to a level of equality in relation to other major religions around the globe. The Sheriff, famously known for opposing the Christian and all around good guy, Robin Hood, seems to have had it with being the minority in Medieval England and won’t be taking any more flack from pretentious painted guys who look like Morgan Freeman either.

Attending a gathering for lepers and orphans earlier today, The Sheriff was seen handing out Voodoo Dolls and spoons to those in need. Afterwards, The Sheriff donned his traditional mask and cloak and enjoyed chasing down a few criminals on horseback and set fire to several straw homes, signaling the start of the annual Blood & Death Solstice which concludes this coming Sunday.

After lunch, he addressed the gathering crowds and said that there is no reason why his religion should be shunned as a minority movement and intends to make a positive change to drive forward growth all across England. The Sheriff stabbed several people shortly after to solidify the seriousness of his statement and to showcase the fact that you can still get stabbed no matter what faith you belong to.

Inexplicably, The Sheriff’s Witchcraft religion saw a sudden spike in new memberships shortly after the stabbing concluded.

We were unable to get close to The Sheriff for comment but from what we can see, Witchcraft is on the up and up in Medieval England.

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Grand Moff Morris
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Grand Moff Morris

You know, this was supposed to be my day off. But nooooooo. Instead, you got me out here dragging your heavy ass through the burning desert, with your dreadlocks sticking out the back of my parachute.
Grand Moff Morris
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