Pseudo News: Disney To Buy Australia Following Avengers: Infinity War Release

Disney, along with Google, is taking over the world. They’re buying up companies left and right and cornering markets that don’t even exist yet. When you got so much money lying around after your wildly profitable franchises, it’s good to diversify. Avengers: Infinity War is soon upon us and the movie is set to shatter any and all kinds of records with its star-studded cast and massive franchise pull. Movie theatres are going to be popping off, that’s for damn sure and the money will be pouring into daddy Disney’s pocket. So much in fact that they’re considering just straight up buying the continent of Australia.

Bob Iger, CEO of Disney, has stated the following:

We here at Disney like to diversify our portfolio with various franchises, new superheroes and companies. We’re looking into exploring the real-estate space soon and our first purchase will be the continent of Australia. The country’s GOP is pocket change for us and have you seen all that space? We can fit at least 2 million movie trailers and sets into that desert. Don’t worry about the heat, we’ll also buy every air-conditioning company out there. The wild animals and insects are no problem as well, they’ll be incorporated into props. And every citizen of the continent will be a Disney employee and each Sunday they will be mandated to wear a Goofy costume in what we’re calling Goof Solstice. A sacrifice to Walt himself will be required on Wednesdays as well in the form of blood or first-born children.

When asked why they’re doing something this extreme, Iger responded “why the fuck not? We own this world already, might as well have it on paper”

It’s unclear if Brisbane will be used in the next Avengers movie, but you can pretty much count on it.

 

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Thabo is an English poet, playwright, and genius, widely regarded as the greatest writer in the English language and the world's pre-eminent dramatist. He is often called South Africa's national poet, and the “Prince of Underpaid Writing”.
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About MGTHABO

Thabo is an English poet, playwright, and genius, widely regarded as the greatest writer in the English language and the world's pre-eminent dramatist. He is often called South Africa's national poet, and the “Prince of Underpaid Writing”.